Imperceptible
by reerites
Summary: An innocent practice session for Kris turns intense when he finds himself alone with Adam. Kradam fic. Oneshot. Nothing too scandalous.


This is my first Kradam fic. :) They are adorable! Angsty, one shot, give it a try. Oh, and please please review!

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** Imperceptible **

Adam strides purposefully into the large hall; his patent leather boots make a soft _click-click_ sound as they strike the floor smartly. He can hear the faint but unmistakable sounds of merriment and revelry on the lower floor. The Idol tour is finally wrapped up, and he knows every last one of his colleagues is going to party _hard._ And why shouldn't they? They more than deserve it, he rightly reasons. He himself has been having the time of his life; not only during the recent after party, but throughout these last two months. It's four or so in the morning; he hasn't bothered to check but he's pretty sure because the party has been stretching on endlessly. To begin with, he was rather spent after a whole day of performing, but he still felt up to a night of socializing and drinking.

A few hours into the party and he was not too sure. His head had begun to throb thanks to the blaring music they seemed to be surrounded by- normally he wouldn't have been affected by it in the least, but not today. His nerves had begun to fray, he began to lose interest in conversing with the seemingly endless stream of media persons, and what he craved most was his own company and a warm bed to flop down upon.

But that's not what brought him here.

The one person whose company he longed for, the one person he felt any desire and yearning to converse with seemed to be no where among the revelers. As the celebrations proceeded and the number of people began to peter out gradually, he was sure he saw Him discreetly (or so _he_ must have thought) leave the room amidst all the commotion.

So he came to the first place that he thought he'd most likely find Him. He feels certain he'd find Him here; it was the room they'd always rehearsed in during this part of the tour.

He filters out the sounds from the party below almost effortlessly.

Nothing else really matters to Adam right now; not the searing pain that shoots up his legs with every step, not the fact that half a dozen people must be probably searching for them both, thinking they'd gone off somewhere together; nothing.

His palm feels sweaty against the cold surface of the champagne bottle in his hand; it was something he'd picked up from the party for Him, in case He hadn't had any yet.

He squints in the darkness of the room, feeling vexed now.

He walks a few steps ahead just to make sure it's empty. The darkness almost engulfs him. And then he hears the sounds. They are soft and melodious, wafting from the direction of the sprawling stage ahead.

Instantly, he knows.

A smile lifts the corners of his lips, he breaks into a slow run, hand still clamped around the bottle.

Adam wants to call out to him, ask him why on earth he's playing in the dark, but something about the way he is sitting at the corner of the stage, caressing his guitar and singing as if he's singing _to_ it, makes him stop in his tracks.

He decides he'd rather stay enshrouded in darkness and watch him. _Listen_ to him, actually; he can barely make out an outline, but that voice tells him all he needs to know about the possessor. He can see in his minds eye, the way his lips form the words, the way he screws up his eyes on the high notes, the way he _means_ it. He's always loved watching him.

Adam's heart skips a beat when he catches his words…. _'…said, "Darling its late, is everything okay?" Silence took over the room…'_

He recognizes them immediately. This is Adam's favorite song, and to hear _him_ sing the words make his insides clench in rapture. His smile widens as he hears him sing; his polished nails grip the bottle in his hands a tad harder.

Kris seems completely oblivious to the fact that he isn't alone. He pauses; bites his lower lip, begins the next line, _'…till she said-'_ and then stops, frustrated.

Adam decides its time to make his presence known.

He claps his hands slowly and watches, or rather, _imagines_ Kris give a start and reach for the switch behind him.

'_What the_- Adam?' Kris, now bathed in light, looks more embarrassed than surprised at being 'caught.'

It still baffles Adam how, in spite of having roomed with this man for months now, his pulse never fails to quicken when they lock eyes.

'Yes. Adam, Adam.' He says smilingly, sauntering over to Kris. He has perfected his superficial nonchalance around Kris to an art by now. 'Oh, by the way, Kris, the Idol tour is over today, which means you can afford to cut slack _just_ a bit. Actually, we're having our after party right now; it's on the second floor and, guess what, you're invited!'

Kris' face splits into his characteristically crooked grin. Adam feels as if he's going to melt right down to the soles of his feet.

'Adam you goof, I wasn't practicing, _per se_. This is- well this is a tiny little surprise I planned for Katy.' A warm blush spreads over his face. He sighs and leans his guitar on the chair's arm. 'I suck at it don't I? I mean, I- I'm really sort of flat on this song. It's so beautiful and I really wanted to sing it for her, but I think I'm going to screw up. And-'

'_Kris_,' he interrupts, his eyes crinkled in amusement. Kris is so damn cute. _Too_ damn cute.

'You _don't _suck and you're not gonna screw up. Yes, it's a beautiful song and, yes, you should sing it for Katy, she'll love it.'

Kris smiles. 'So how come you're up here?'

'Because you always make me feel so _welcome_?' Adam rolls his eyes and Kris laughs.

'The noise down there was really getting to me. Too much for one day, you know? Also,' and his voice softens here, 'I hadn't seen you ever since the party started, well I thought I saw you leaving a while ago and I had to see what you'd got up to this time.'

'Very funny, Adam. I think I can manage not to blow up the place by accident or something without you checking in on me every five minutes.' Adam's jaw drops in pretence outrage, he catches the teasing glint in Kris' eye and snorts.

'By the way,' Kris says, 'your jacket really looks amazing-'

Adam notices with a jolt that Kris is still wrapped snugly in his own stage jacket; it must be at least a size too big for him but he looks adorable. The back of Adam's neck suddenly feels warm.

'You know, it really does!' He says, as if only having discovered it. 'How surprising-'

'I meant on me.' It's Kris' turn to look smug.

'I know.'

'_Adam_…' Kris says petulantly. Adam likes to hear the sound of his name roll off his lips. 'I'd appreciate it if you weren't always so full of innuendos, especially in public. Raises the pressure on me to make a joke out of it, you know?'

'When you're actually feeling one-hundred-percent serious?' Adam loves this playful banter between them. They _both_ love it; Kris isn't the shy one of the two, but this is a secret Adam relishes to himself; he never bothers to correct those presumptuous interviewers.

'Adam, cut it out, I'm tired.' He's still smiling but there are circles developing under his eyes.

'Then you should be sleeping, not out here alone strumming a guitar in my amazing jacket.'

'You really don't need to baby me so much. It makes me feel rather silly.'

'You _are_ rather silly.' Adam knows Kris won't take offence. Kris knows that though he lets himself be bullied by Adam from time to time, he was the one to look out for Adam; to make sure he was not overworking himself (he tended to do that) to make sure he didn't go on a drinking binge (on Adam's orders) to make sure he was okay. And Adam, well Adam was just content to be close to Kris.

Adam walks onto the stage towards Kris, his steps echoing on the hollow wood.

He cuts an impressive figure, clad in his fitting waistcoat (which he did not change from after the concert) and figure hugging jeans. Even with Adam's studded jacket on, Kris manages to feel under-dressed around him.

'You're Katy.'

Before Kris has time to figure out what the hell Adam is saying, Adam set the bottle of champagne down besides him, takes his hand gingerly, looks uninhibitedly into his eyes, and starts singing the song that he'd just seen Kris practicing.

Adam's voice is unchanged, and, in Kris' opinion, untouchable. Ethereal, powerful and charged, it surrounds them and the moment. Kris has seen him rehearse like this on countless occasions; this seems different somehow. This seems like Adam is singing to _him_; which he was, he supposed, in a way. Adam pauses for just a second at the part where Kris stopped previously. '…and she said. .."_I just love you, I don't know why, I just do…_"

Kris swallows a huge lump that has threatened to rise in his throat, as Adam continues. Kris' eyes never leave Adam once; the sheer intensity of the emotion in his voice makes his insides churn. He almost wishes Adam would stop. He does, soon enough.

Kris forgets to clap; he still hears Adam's voice inside his head; his heart still races.

'That was…brilliant. Simply-' His voice breaks.

A flush spreads over Adam's cheeks; he looks radiant. 'Thanks. When you sing it- when you sing that part, specially, look at her,' he moistens his lips, ignoring the piercing pain building inside him that has nothing to do with exhaustion. 'Look at her and mean it.'

Kris smiles quietly. He wants to respond, '_I will_,' but he can't seem to form the words. He knew being alone with Adam on this day will come to nothing good. He wants to get up and leave, to rejoin the party where he can just pretend he's drunk and having fun; not because he doesn't trust Adam but because he doesn't trust himself.

Strangely, ironically, Adam, who's piercing blue eyes penetrated his own just seconds ago, does not seem to be able to look anywhere near his face now.

Kris stares at the headphone splitter in his hand, searching desperately for something to say. Adam comes to his rescue.

'Hey…no fair, you never shared that with me.'

'I was er…planning to go find Danny, he wants to catch up on some of the latest numbers, you know.'

'You have _got_ to be kidding me.' Adam swats his hand playfully, Kris manages a laugh; the awkwardness of the previous moments seems to have dissipated.

'Danny's a nice guy.' God, Kris wonders when this conversation had gotten so random.

'I know, but he's not Kradam.'

'You're infantile.'

_Cover up….cover up…cover up….is that all he, Kris, is capable of…?_

'It's going to be so strange for me…getting back to a state of normalcy after Idol, touring, the works. It'll be a pleasant change, but still, in some ways-' The words hang over both of them ominously, until Adam speaks them aloud.

'So you're saying you're going to miss me horribly even though you have your wife by your side?' It's an innocent enough remark, but it breaks something in Kris. He does not find it funny any more; not when he feels he's going to be forcefully unraveled and uncovered, exposed, and then ripped apart. He can never allow anyone to do that to him, not even Adam. Yet, as their time together peters out, Kris can feel it happening.

He gets up, off the chair and walks, slightly shakily, to the small balcony adjoining the stage, trying his best to keep his emotions in check.

Adam is stunned by the turn of events. The last person he wants to hurt is Kris. _God, what has he done?_ He should have just kept his stupid mouth shut.

Something in the way Kris looked tells him it's bigger this time.

Kris knows Adam will come after him.

Adam comes up behind him, the chilly wind outside stings his bare shoulders. Almost a head taller, he has never seen Kris look so vulnerable.

Kris isn't crying; he just rests his hands on the railing. His silence scares Adam. Adam's stomach turns, he knows in that instant that something has changed.

'I'm sorry,' he whispers to his back.

'Don't be, it's not your fault.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Go away, Adam.' Kris says roughly; tears begin to prick at his eyes and he hates himself for them.

Kris' tone stings, but Adam won't leave him here, not like this, not ever.

Adam closes the small distance between them, slowly snaking his arms around Kris' waist. He pulls him close; they fit together perfectly- they always have. 'I won't Kris. I fucking _won't_ leave you.'

Kris, whose whole form quivers beneath Adam's touch, knows at last that Adam understands. That Adam has found out; that he sympathizes. It somehow compounds things.

Adam breathes heavily against his hair, into the back of his neck, his control visibly slipping, as the truth about Kris' feelings becomes too much to handle. His arms wrapped so tightly around Kris' waist seem to be his only support. 'Did anyone ever tell you, Kris,' he rasps, still holding on to him like a dying man, 'that you tuck the bed-sheet under your chin while you sleep- or,' he continues half crying now, 'that I can never hope to be as good with kids as you are, or that black nail polish suits you so well-'

Kris whips around, needing more than anything to look into those blue eyes. He roughly extricates Adam's arms from his, tangles his own fingers in the taller man's hair and pulls Adam down to his height. Their foreheads are touching and Kris can feel the tip of Adam's nose against his own. They are so close that they're breathing the same air; they seem to know this because both breathe in the air through their mouths, almost hungrily, all the while gripping each other.

Unshed tears gleam in both pairs of eyes.

Adam's hands are roaming Kris' sides wantonly and his lips are slightly parted, though he makes no move to come closer. He looks as if he's grappling with some invisible force which ironically, comes from within himself.

'I knew you'd come for me,' Kris says, knowing well what it could mean out of context. Adam does not laugh; he traces Kris forehead, the ridge of his nose and stops at his lips. For a moment he looks like he's going to turn and leave. Kris can't bear it; he grips the collar of his waistcoat, glides his hands slowly over the fabric, ignoring Adam's sharp intake of breath. Kris undoes his buttons, slowly….the first, second, the last…and slides it off his broad shoulders languidly. He takes in the sight of his toned chest, letting his eyes roam blatantly over his shoulders, his arms….Adam is not some muscle bound wrestler, but he is strapping.

Adam feels as if his waistcoat is a part of his skin being peeled off; Kris' touch is searing almost. Being this close to him is heady; he knows he's exhausted, but he doesn't care as he looks at the familiar man in front of him, unraveling him as if he was a Christmas present…

No words are exchanged between them, only thoughts, feelings, touches, all they had held back till this moment…

Kris runs his hands across the flat expanse of Adam's torso…so familiar and yet so strange…He feels like a child trying to understand the workings of a very forbidden toy…scared, confused, ecstatic… The cold is piercing on Adam's naked chest, but when he feels Kris grip his lightning shaped locket and pull him towards him nipping gently on the hollow of his neck; his eyes roll back into his head.

Kris is kissing his neck lightly, all the while holding his hands back so he could only _experience,_ not participate.

Adam feels like he's going to pass out as his tongue flicks the shell of his ear. Kris' hands explore every inch of his torso, wanting him, _needing_ him; he can feel his fingers dig into his shoulders, dragging blazing trails of fire in their wake. They tremble against each other, the enormity of what they were doing barely sinking in.

'You said a crush is a non-threatening thing, didn't you Adam?' Kris mumbles softly against his ear. Kris seems oddly and irresistibly feline as he preens Adam, never depriving him of the feel of his roving hands for a second. Kris' words barely register; all Adam wants right now is to give himself up wholly to the feral instincts surging through him, melding them together.

'….not for Katy I guess.' Adam nuzzles Kris' neck lazily, willing him to lean back so he could gain better access. He does not realize that what he's just said strikes home. _Hard. _

Katy.

His wife.

Something in Kris snaps; he was in heaven, now his feet are back on earth.

It takes every ounce of his will power to wrench his hands off Adam, to not crush his lips against the pair which sung to him so hauntingly that his heart melted. Kris closes his eyes, and Adam lets him go gently.

'I'd said…I'd be meeting her…I have to meet-' He is incoherent, but Adam nods stiffly.

'I understand.' He says, though it breaks him to say it.

'I never will.' He does not have to ask what Kris meant. Kris does not look at him; he walks away slowly, leaving Adam in the biting cold; the elements lashing at his body from outside as well as from within.

Somewhere, he'd always expected this if they ever got up to this point; which he'd hoped they never would, for his own sake.

What he does not expect was for Kris to come back. Kris looks unreadable as he walks up to him.

Adam's heart quickens, but he knows that he won't let Kris do anything he'll regret.

Instead, Kris simply puts his hands behind Adam's back, and, without touching his skin, he unclasps his chain.

He looks into his eyes as he grasps it tightly in his fist, presses it to his heart and says, 'you don't mind if I keep this.' It isn't a question, Adam knows, but he shakes his head anyway.

No.

_Don't go. _

He breaks eye contact with Kris, stoops down and picks up his waistcoat. He finds himself alone once more.

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